April 2009
4 posts
Oops
I think i allowed bed bugs to hitch a ride back from Italy. I am getting these bites on my neck and they itch like crazy.
Oh Shucks! Part deux
On a somewhat similar note, am going to Germany, Czech Republic, Slovakia and Austria this coming summer. Yay!
Oh Shucks!
It has been a week since Rome and i am in denial, again. I can’t help wondering how life will be like if i just stop doing everything and just pack my bags and tour this freaking awesome world.
I’ll probably start off with France and end it with anywhere in South America. So many things to see, so little time. Sigh.
Mama MIA!
Rome is awesome. One more day here and I have to leave, shucks. I dont want to go back and shiver in the cold. I love the sun, heat and sunburn!
March 2009
11 posts
1 tag
Old People Having Sex
Sometimes i wonder how often my old neighbors downstairs do have sex. Most of the time i can hear them talking or choking or coughing (need not be in order) and moaning?!? The worst part is that my insomnia has worsen lately and i can’t help picturing them doing the nasty at 2a.m.; they are too cute for all that action. I am betting grandpa as a top; grandma looks too frail to be working it....
Blast From The Past
A few years back, i drove into a ditch while learning to drive, wrecking the car at the same time, in front of a lot of people, my whole school knew about it. That was one of the most painful experiences ever.
Sci-Fi Overload
Am supposed to be working on assignments but am out of ideas. No worries, season 5 of Stargate Atlantis will do the trick, sort of. This is going to be an awesome geeky weekend!
1 tag
Watchjakeandamir:
Ultimatum
Go back to NY dammit.
Myself and I - CRS
Me 1: Mmmm... loving it.
Me 2: Ooo, i can tell the kung pow chicken has got a generous amount of MSG in it.
Me 1: Really? I can't seem to tell how different it is with our home cooked meals.
Me 2: Dude, i don't use MSG.
Me 1: Sure you do, you used it all the fucking time.
Me 2: I am sure i don't use it. That's because i never buy any MSG.
Me 1: Trust me, you have been eating MSG all this while.
Me 2: Impossible, there's no MSG in the kitchen, just salt, pepper, soy sauce and spices.
Me 1: Just because you don't see the packaging doesn't mean it's not there.
Me 2: What the hell did you do?
Me 1: Well, i am fed up with all the tasteless shit you cooked so i added MSG into all the condiments you use, lots of it.
Me 2: Damn you, so the sore throat i am having since last month was your doing.
Me 1: Probably. Oh, and i added them to your coffee, milk, juices, butter and mint sauce. You can thank me later.
Manchester
is dirty yet awesome. I am definitely going back there this summer.
February 2009
28 posts
I'm Depressed
I haven’t left the house in 2 days.
Hmmpf
It’s stressful to play Freecell in class especially when the screen faces a lot of people. Usually, i’m on a winning streak when i play alone but today, i kept hitting F2 over and over again.
1 tag
1 tag
Myself and I - Spring Time
Me 1: Look! I see daffodils coming~
Me 2: Hmm, they sure grow fast.
Me 1: Yups. lets step on them so they won't grow. I feel like destroying something nice today.
Me 2: Nah, i want them to take over the backyard so i can take pretty pictures of them.
Me 1: You can do it next spring.
Me 2: Haha. Funny. Now, scoot.
Me 1: Oops. one down. Another down and another... Ooo a biggie one, GONE.
Me 2: Stop it. Shit, what's happening, i can't control the legs...
Me 1: You can't stop me, assface! Soon, this body will all be mine.
Me 2: Fuck. What did you do?
Me 1: The stuff you've been taking, just vitamins.
Me 2: Where are the meds?
Me 1: Should be in the sea by now.
Me 2: Thank God i still have one in my pocket.
Me 1: Damn, did not see that coming.
“Do you want cash back?”
– Friendly ASDA cashier
1 tag
So Sick
I am reverting back to my old habit of waking up late. Now i am stuck awake trying to force myself to sleep. I guess it’s screw 10am’s lecture.
So sick of studies. I am too old for this formal education thing.
The worst part is that i still have at least 2 years to go before i get my full Masters degree. Is it worth it?
Architecture is no longer fun. Sigh.
On Valentines Day
I will cook an awesome dinner, prepare something nice for dessert and crack open a bottle of red and enjoy the night, all by myself, in front of the laptop, playing Freecell over and over again.
Old Folks
Old folks are usually kind to me. I have had really good conversations with people above the age of 60 but today i got my taste of the first bad old guy. It happened right after i walked past a really friendly 70+ year old guy who ask me how my day was, i wish him a good day and vice versa. This other old guy walked towards me and gave me a smirk, shook his head and was clearly mumbling something...
Cherry Yoghurt
comes right after beef stew and just before Frosties and milk.
1 tag
Brrrr
It was -7 Celsius last night. It is -5 now. I am not turning on the heater because i just got my gas bills and i am not stepping into McDonalds anytime soon.
All 300 Great Britain Pounds gone down the drain. That is 2 Louis Vuitton wallets worth of money. My heart hurts.
“It ain’t milk if it’s skimmed.”
– Dolphie (2009)
Okay...
My housemate is singing the same song again and again and again… and again, this time a tad louder than usual.
I am cranking my volume up another notch to 30.
Not working either. Hmmpf.
Aka
My best friends call me Dolphie.
How cute is that?
Myself and I - Snowman
Me 1: Psst. Look, outside, heavy, thick thick snow.
Me 2: Oooo... Nice. Okay, seen enough, back to work.
Me 1: Lets go make a snowman. The last one was crappy.
Me 2: I'm tired, besides there's a lot of design to do.
Me 1: Come on, once a year thing. Please please please please~
Me 2: Hark!
Me 1: Okay, more like twice a year thing.
Me 2: Make it 3. The last one wasn't even a snowman.
Me 1: It was a snowman until you go all Jackson Pollock on it.
Me 2: Me or you?
Me 1: Oh ya, it was me. Looks neat though, very artsy-ish.
Me 2: No snowman today, work is the number one priority.
Me 1: Making a snowman is also hard work, so get your ass up and get going.
Me 2: Hell no.
Me 1: Fine then, you owe the next door kids 20 pounds.
Me 2: 20 what?
Me 1: I made a bet with the kids that my snowman will be bigger than theirs.
Me 2: You're lying, i don't recall making any bet.
Me 1: I did it this early morning. FYI, i take over this body once you go to sleep.
Me 2: Prove it.
Me 1: Check your outbox and messages.
Me 2: Fuck.
Me 1: Hurry up, the kids started 2 hours ago and they have reinforcements.
Me 2: Reinforcements?
Me 1: Yeah, they recruited the whole school. I bet their asses i can make more snowman than their whole school can.
Me 2: Shit. How much was the bet?
Me 1: 200 pounds. And the dateline is in 10 minutes.
Awake
4.06am. Tutorial’s in 5 hours. Don’t think i’ll be up for that.
OMG
I have never pooped like this in years! I never thought i could fartpoop that long and with that much clarity; added with the awesome acoustics and reverberance of its delightful sound in the bathroom, i probably gave a huge jolt to the old folks sleeping downstairs.
Thanks food source of yesterday, you gave me one of the best toilet experience ever!
Excruciating
I’m in a lot of pain. Feels like my whole body system runs on slacking painkillers. Do your job and ease my suffering or i’ll flush your remaining cousins down the toilet bowl to Neverland, one by one.
January 2009
14 posts
Myself and I - Juice
Me 1: Get up and go get some apple juice. Juice me now!
Me 2: Nay, Wikipedia says not to take any juice.
Me 1: Don't tell me you believe every bullshit Wikipedia says.
Me 2: Not totally, but there are other sources backing it up as well.
Me 1: Ya ya...but i am thirsty. Me need a draaank.
Me 2: We just drank a minute ago.
Me 1: Yah, water, and you know damn well i detest plain fucking tap water.
Me 2: Get used to it. It's the only thing we'll be drinking for the next few days.
Me 1: I'm screwed.
Me 2: Word.
Me 1: How about O.J. No one says no to O.J.
Me 2: Still juice.
Me 1: Argh, cranberry juice then.
Me 2: You know what juice means don't you?
Me 1: Yar... duh.
Me 2: Then which part of No Juice do you not understand?
Me 1: Prune juice then. I seriously think you need to drink more of it.
Me 2: For the love of...
Me 1: Raisins?
Me 2: No, I was going to say G...
Me 1: I know i know. Grape juice! Like raisins but with juice.
Me 2: I am ignoring you from now on.
Me 1: Okay, but not until you get me my juice.
Me 2: ...
Me 1: I'm waiting.
Me 2: ...
Me 1: JUICE! JUICE! JUICE!
Me 2: Shut the fuck up, I'm drinking my prune juice!
Myself and the medical centre receptionist
Me: Hi, i need to make an appointment like right now.
Receptionist: Okay, have you registered with us before?
Me: No.
Receptionist: Okay, fill in these forms and give me a ring when you are done.
Me: (Scribble scribble) Done.
Receptionist: Thank you. Now, are you a student?
Me: Yes i am.
Receptionist: Can i have your student card please?
Me: Sure, no problem.
Receptionist: Okay, i got the details here. And, how long have you stayed in the address stated?
Me: Er... since September last year.
Receptionist: So, since then you never bothered to register with any GP at all?
Me: Well, i knew i was going to get lectured again. I was lazy okay...
Receptionist: That is a long time.
Me: I know, my bad.
Receptionist: Now, i will get the details filed and you will be assigned a doctor in the next 40 hours.
Me: Sorry?
Receptionist: You cannot make an appointment until the paperwork is done, and that is 40 hours from now.
Me: So, i can't be seen by a doctor now?
Receptionist: Yes, you will have to wait till it's 40 hours later and then give us a call to arrange for a consultation.
Me: But it's kind of an emergency. My neck and this throbbing pain...
Receptionist: I'm sorry, you will have to wait till then.
Me: But this pain is driving me crazy, i need to see a doctor now!
Receptionist: You'll just have to do so 40 hours later. See you.
Me: Oh shugs, thank you anyway. (Walks out the door, walks back in) I'm sorry, i don't think i can wait 40 hours.
Receptionist: You cannot just come in and expect a consultation. You must wait until the paperwork is done.
Me: But the pain is killing me, can you like cut me some slack here?
Receptionist: No can't do, call us after 40 hours and we'll schedule you for a consultation.
Me: Argh, then can you please tell me where can i get over the counter painkillers because i am going crazy here.
Receptionist: Down the road, there's a Boots. Bye now.
Me: Ya, thanks for the help, not. (Walks out) Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck...
Myself and I - Haircut
Me 1: Psst! You need a haircut, like bad.
Me 2: Really? I think it's neat, very European.
Me 1: You mean very gay?
Me 2: I like the wavy curly thing, i never kept them this long before. Me think it suits me better.
Me 1: Yeah, gay. You gotta chop it off.
Me 2: Heck no, i'm keeping it.
Me 1: Whoops, too late, papa's got the left side butched for you.
Me 2: What the fuck!
Me 1: Just because you like a faggy hairstyle doesn't mean i like it.
Me 2: That doesn't give you the right to cut it off, have you any idea how long it took me to grow them?
Me 1: 1 week?
Me 2: Hell no! 2 months at least.
Me 1: Well, that's 2 months of fucking faggotry gone thanks to me.
Me 2: Keeping the hair a little longer than usual doesn't make it gay.
Me 1: Yes it does. It's a like a freaking Pantene ad day after day. I'm sick of it.
Me 2: God, you are so annoying sometimes.
Me 1: Geez, don't get religion involved, that is using His name in vain. You should be thankful, i just saved you from a lifetime of ass-plowing and cock sucking.
Me 2: I am speechless and beyond words.
Me 1: I trust that you can finish it up yourself. Don't forget to pick up my pink sleeveless top with the Mariah Carey print on it from the dryer when you're done.
Me 2: -.-
Watchjakeandamir:
Glasses
It’s about time they use them wayfarers!